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Talk:Arisa Namikaze/@comment-5053045-20150406030700
Alright! *claps hands together in a jubilant fashion.* I owe you one review, so let's get to it! :D Appearance For Part I and for the beginning of Part II, I'm not sure what's going on with her hair. Are those thick lines just highlights? Or was it just a drawing complication? It throws the viewer off a bit, but I won't cut down on style. I've learned lately that appearances don't have as many rules to them as I once thought they did, especially ever since I saw Pakura and Kujaku. As for her outfits, I like the simplicity of them! That's one thing that a lot of oc makers tend to overlook - not making their characters' outfits too detailed and crazy. However, they might be a little bit... too simple? *Her Part I outfit is so casual that it looks like civilian clothing. Where's the protection it offers? I appreciate the practical and modest look of it, all while still pulling off an appearance that matches her personality, but it isn't one that says "Hey! I'm a ninja!" *Her Time-Skip outfit honestly doesn't matter too much because that's not usually included in character bios. However, I pointed it out because I really like the look! That's more of a ninja style than the first. *Her first look in Part II is bizarre, to put it simply. What happened to her hair? It would throw people off if she randomly dyed her hair a completely different color after returning from the time skip. (I don't think there were any canon characters that did this. If there were any, then you can ignore what I said about the hair.) Her outfit is less casual than the first, which is good, but if you asked me I would tell you that personally I find it way too colorful. Yes, I get that ninja in the Narutoverse can wear all the neon they want, but what I mean is that I find her outfit to be what I call "colored chaos." You'll find that most canon characters stick to monochromatic colors in their outfits (they wore the same color but shaded differently in different areas) with some complimentary colors (colors that were on the exact opposite side of the color wheel.) *Her second look in Part II is more visually appealing than the first. Notice how her hair contrasts well with the red part of her outfit. (Not to mention her hair looks a lot less... messy. Sorry, I just don't like those highlights. I feel that they make the hair look bad.) Her stats as far as matching her weight to her height seem fine. Abilities This is just my opinion, but it seems like a kind of waste to give her two nature types only to then say that she doesn't use them much in battle. Even if they are used as a distraction to prepare for her real attack, it just doesn't sit right with me. But it can be overlooked, because I actually like how her fighting system works. It's realistic, in a logical sense anyway. :) Siren's Call, eh? A genjutsu that involves amplification of the voice. I've heard of similar jutsu being created and even one of my own ocs has a jutsu similar to this. Be careful with this. So far your version seems pretty original, but that may just be because of the way it was written... Everything checks out here; great job! Personality I don't know if "calm" is the word I would use after reading about her foul mouth and inability to keep her thoughts to herself. I know you meant to imply that she isn't violent when angry, so instead try to use "level-headed" or "even-tempered." I like her personality! I raised an eyebrow at the alcoholism comment, but I suppose it doesn't really make a difference with her character. She would be very interesting to see as a canon character, should she have been one. Relationships Okay, let me try and work this out: Arisa's mother successfully fled from Uzushiogakure to Konohagakure and gave birth to Arisa two years later. Her mother also just so happened to be the cousin of Kushina, and because of this blood relation she was sent to go live with Kushina and Minato as a result... Okay... Both Minato and Kushina were 24 by the time Naruto was born. That makes them 21 when they were given Arisa to look after. I feel as though that is pushing it a little bit to be giving them an adoptive child at that age, but who am I to judge. Not to mention all that was going on at the time. (I also want to point out that it is risky to have given her Minato's surname, Namikaze. Have you ever wondered why Naruto was given his mother's surname, Uzumaki, and not his father's? It was to keep him safe from anyone that might want to kill him for being the offspring of the Fourth Hokage. It would make much more sense for Arisa to have kept her original surname from the Uzumaki clan because: A) Kushina was an Uzumaki and was raising her, so what is the point of randomly taking the name of someone she is not related to at all, Minato, and B) If Naruto wasn't named Namizakaze then why should she be any different?) Everything was okay until she was sent to go live with Sasuke's family. At this point she would have just been put in an orphanage. Why was she given to an Uchiha family? Was it just because Kushina and Mikoto were close friends? Did Mikoto beg and plead to have Arisa because she reminded her of Kushina? If so, I would think that Arisa's presence would only make Mikoto even more saddened. I also want to point out that having a sister would have made an impression on Sasuke in the future after the Uchiha Incedent, and thusly affected his personality/memories in the story. Technically speaking, her presence in the Uchiha family breaks more canon than what appears outright. Please, if you really want to make Arisa less Mary-Sueish, get rid of her presence in the Uchiha household. It made some sense to give her to a family that actually shares some blood ties with her, but handing her off to the Uchiha family is a bizarre thing to do. I have nothing against her paired with Itachi, but there are some things that simply would not have happened. Itachi would have never told her about the plans behind the Incedent, nor the coup. I realize you want them to be close, but if she had been given information like that then he would have likely had to kill her, too, even though she is not an Uchiha. Other than that, I guess everything else is okay. Normally I would say something like "well since they are adoptive siblings/cousins, I would think that she would spend more time with Naruto!" but since that would affect Naruto's personality/memories in the story, it's good that you kept her away from him until much later in the series. Extra I find it interesting that you actually killed her. I don't see that too often in characters that exist in the current timeline. One other thing I found odd was that she managed to be scarred even though she was 4 years old. Have you ever tried to remember something that happened to you when you were 4 years old? It feels very, very distant and honestly at some point she would have gotten over her scarring because something that happened to you when you were 4 feels like nothing. Not to mention, I would think that the 4th Hokage would get his adoptive daughter somewhere secure to keep her from witnessing such a sight! ---- I realize that this seems like a lot of griping, but I actually quite like Arisa. Yes, there are some things to fix before I an see her as an exceptionally good oc, but when I look at Arisa and read about her I feel as though she would be very interesting to have in the series. I'm sorry if any of this offended you, that was not my intention. A lot of this is just my opinion, and I hope it helped you!!